We've all been there: stoned, panicked, and wondering how to sober up from weed as fast as possible. Maybe you just got an unexpected shift at work after smoking a fat joint, or you toked right before a surprise visit from your mother-in-law. Maybe you have absolutely no obligations, worries, or responsibilities whatsoever, and you're just way too high.
Whatever your reasons are for no longer wanting to be stoned, you don't need to worry! This list of tips and tricks to sober up from weed is tried and tested to eliminate your unwanted weed high. Just like with alcohol, you can shortcut your way to sobriety, so follow these seven simple techniques to go from stoned silly to stone-cold sober.
To Sober Up From Weed: Distract Yourself
Breathe, meditate, juggle — it doesn't matter, just do something! One of the best ways to get your mind off of being too high is, quite simply, to stop thinking about it. While this suggestion may sound as difficult as, "don't think of purple spotted elephants," it is a relatively easy and effective method. A good distraction (not idly playing with a loose string or counting ceiling tiles) will take your mind away from focusing on how high you are, and how much you wish you were sober. Take up an old hobby, start a new one, or just give yourself a task. Idle hands are, after all, the devil's workshop (if the devil's workshop is being too high).
Caffeine is kind of a given when it comes to sobering up from any substance, weed included. A cannabis high can cause fogginess, fatigue, and short-term memory loss, while caffeine boosts energy levels, recollection, and overall alertness. It even suppresses appetite, effectively canceling out munchies too! Caffeine also comes in a wide variety of options, from common beverages like energy drinks, coffee, and tea, to chocolate and other miscellaneous food items.
Chugging coffee will not immediately eliminate the effects of consuming cannabis. It does, however, counteract the least desirable effects. In this case, two drugs equal sobriety. Who'd have thunk!
Who do you know that can smoke, jog a few miles, and come back still stoned? Probably no one! The reason for this is primarily due to the connection between cannabis and the circulatory system. In short, when you consume cannabis, it travels to the cannabinoid receptors through your bloodstream, either from your lungs or by digestion. Research shows that cardiovascular exercise increases the blood flow to your brain, effectively flushing the high right from your head! Exercise also releases endorphins, improves memory, and helps regulate blood sugar, all beneficial effects for someone looking to sober up from weed.
Building up the motivation to exercise while stoned can be difficult, but keep in mind that many people deliberately choose to smoke weed before exercising. It may sound crazy, but studies show that cannabis can actually improve the efficacy of a workout. So do something good for yourself and sweat your high away — it can only help, after all!
Take A Cold Shower
A cold shower isn't just for athletes and the sexually frustrated, but for anyone looking to give their entire physiological system a quick, sobering jolt! Uncomfortable though it may be, cannabis consumers shouldn't underestimate the benefits of a fast dip into frigid waters. In fact, research shows that taking a cold shower can increase alertness, eliminate fatigue, and decrease anxiety, all of which are side effects of a cannabis high. If you don't like showers, then consider these alternatives: an ice bath, a sprinkler, a hose, rain, or just cupped hands and a sink.
Warm water may have the opposite effect, making a weed high more intense and longer-lasting. Hot tubs, toasty baths, and anything remotely warm and wet are highly discouraged for those seeking quick sobriety.
Some people love the feeling of an adrenaline rush. Other people hate it. And other people really, really hate it. Regardless of your personal preferences, the fact remains that nothing sobers you up quite like a surge of adrenaline. Most stoners have probably already experienced the sobering effect of adrenaline, whether from an unexpected cop or a dark and a creepy hallway, or an intense video-gaming session (perhaps all three?). Either way, the fight-or-flight instinct leaves no room for a weed high, and it can bring you down faster than almost any alternative. The best part is, inducing an adrenaline rush is pretty easy! Watch a scary movie, flirt with someone out of your league, or just do something outside of your established comfort zone. Sobriety will follow.
Rollercoasters, skydiving, and other extreme methods are perhaps not the best tools to induce sobriety. Unless you are a self-professed adrenaline junkie, stick to the small stuff.
Sleep It Off
Sleep may not be the fastest way to sober up from weed, but it is arguably the easiest. Sometimes the most pleasant way to sober up from being too high is to nap your way through the worst of it. Chances are, the cannabis is already making you tired, so why not turn into the skid and take advantage of the herb's natural effects?
Edibles are the exception to this method, as it is possible to wake up higher than when you fell asleep. If this occurs, the best option may be to go back to sleep. Wash, rinse, repeat!
Fake It 'Till You Make It
Everyone has heard the phrase 'fake it 'till you make it,' but few seem to realize how well it applies to sobering down from a weed high. The next time you're well and truly blazed, practice acting sober in front of the mirror. Anything that looks off (like red eyes, a goofy grin, or droopy lids) is entirely fixable with enough preparation! Eye-drops, a put-together outfit, and proper hygienic practices can go a long way in making you appear sober. Real sobriety will follow if you just pretend long enough!
This method may feel awkward at first, especially in public, but practice makes perfect. Soon enough no one will be able to tell when you're high at all, even people that know that you smoke!
So there you have it, seven surefire ways to sober up from weed! Use these tips and tricks alone or in conjunction with each other, whatever works best for your individual needs. You can pound an energy drink in a cold shower after a jog if that's what you want, just be sure to pay attention to your body so you can gauge what works best for you.
Edibles will not be as affected by these methods as other forms of cannabis consumption. While most of these tips and tricks can, and probably will, reduce an edible high, there is no guarantee of quick sobriety. If you plan to drive, go to work or school, or attend any important events, it may be worth it to consider saving your edibles for a better, more chill date. Your weed isn't going anywhere, but you may be!